Review: Into the Wild

YES, I know this came out in 2007. NO, I don't care. Guys, I had high hopes for this movie. I was certain it would knock "The Runaways" out of the top spot. No. It DID NOT. The story chronicles a Emory graduate from a wealthy, albeit troubled, family (Emile Hirsch). He breaks loose and heads out into the wild. He makes a lot of friends, including Vince Vaughn's law breaking farmer, K-Stew's sexed up trailer park waif, and Catherine Keener's hippie commune buds. All the while, he's just waiting to go to Alaska on an amazing solo adventure. So he makes it. And he has an awesome time. But he's kinda, scratch that, really lonely. And then he gets really hungry. And he sucks as a hunter. So he decides to eat some wild berries. BAD IDEA, KIDDOS. Obviously, he eats poison ones, and he reads in his book of magic that he will shortly die of starvation. On his deathbed, he writes down "Happiness is only real when shared." Touching. He also imagines what it would be like to be reunited with his family. It made me sad, but, like, I don't feel sorry for him. He was there by choice. Plus, everyone knows not to eat wild berries. And he abandoned K-Stew, and momma Catherine Keener. So yeah. Oh, and this is a true story. I'll be avoiding wilderness excursions for awhile. So you should too.

btw these are pics of the real Christopher McCandless... crying yet?